Do you often find you talk to yourself, or a voice talks to you? Most of us do this, it is an essential way in which we sort out our thoughts. Sometimes though, if we are anxious and stressed we can find that voice starting to become intrusive. It might even sound as if it is telling us off. Now, none of want an inner bully hanging around with us all the time, so what do we do about this.
First of all, we can question it?
A good first question is “Where do you come from?” Just asking the question might give you a light bulb moment – that is my mum who was always criticising me, or perhaps you hear your manager who is a bit of a bully, or someone, from your present or your past with whom you were often in competition.
Whatever your answer just knowing where the voice is coming from can be a tremendous help. After all, you regard your manager as a bit of an idiot most of the time don’t you, so why are you listening to him, and in your own time? Or your mum might have loved you in her own way, but if you had taken her advice you would probably be doing a job you hate and married to someone you never fancied even when you were 14. And who is that ‘competitor’ voice – oh yes, that’s John from marketing. He got that promotion you deserved but that was last year, and anyway you moved on and have a much better time than he does at work.
So it’s time to put those voices in their place. You are in charge after all.
So say, love you Mum, but no I’m not listening to your advice as I walk into the boardroom, you really have nothing to say in this situation. See you Sunday thought! So those voices should be put back in their place. To John, nope you have nothing to say on how I finish this report, I’m going to do it my way. And why should you listen to your manager when you are buying your new outfit. You know what you like and what suits you so silence that voice.